Trying to fix a Broken Angel
by l2adiol2obot
Summary: Castiel has been in an abusive relationship for too long. He's tried to walk away and it only made things worst. Will Dean Winchester come to his rescue or pretend he doesn't see the marks that Castiel can't cover up. Destiel Addict!Cas AU. AH.
1. Running out of Pain

**Title:** Trying to Fix a Broken Angel

**Inspired by:** A plot bunny I had when I awoke and then I thought how 12 stones "Running out of Pain" seemed fitting.

**Rating:** M for Non-Con, dark themes, Drug abuse, Abuse, Violence.

**Summary: **Castiel has been in an abusive relationship for too long. He's tried to walk away and it only made things worst. Will Dean Winchester come to his rescue or pretend he doesn't see the marks that Castiel can't cover up. Destiel Addict!Cas

**A/n:**So This is my first story that is kinda dark and revolving around very real and mature themes in this world. Dealing with a horrible relationship, being trapped in it. Where you feel the only way out is through death because your so broken that no one would want you anymore. It's not going to be overly graphic, I'm just having Castiel summerize most of what he's going through. I don't know if I'll actually write a part of when it's all happening. May or may not, depends on where the story demands to be taken. Cause my writing style kinda just goes with the flow at most times. Almost like the characters take over. Sorry if some parts are out of character, though im trying to mostly keep them in character. Especially when Castiel. Then again, who'd know how Cas would act when faced with something like this?

Anyways, a playlist has been made and put up on my profile with three songs so far. One for each chapter. I know I said before how i don't like to put a time limit/chapter limit on my stories. But this is one of the exceptions since it was meant as a one shot. The next Chapter whenever it is up will be darker and filled with some violence. I'm not for sure yet if I might just combine chapter 2 and three together so that it doesn't end up being short. We'll just have to wait and see.

As usual, I ask for reviews not demand them. It would be nice to know what you guys think. 8)

* * *

Sometimes Castiel didn't know what he did to deserve the mess he had gotten himself into. But then Lucifer would remind him again and again. Of how worthless he was, how no one would ever want him once he was through with him. Castiel hadn't even been sure that Lucifer had been his real name, probably young man had be naive as usual when he had first started dating the man. Everything seemed too special, too happy. Happiness never existed for too long when it came into his life.

But he had never expected this. To resort to drugs, the only thing that seemed to numb the pain he was feeling. Aside from the abuse, which was emotional, pyshical, verbal and sexual. He was trying desperately to keep his grades from slipping. He was a top student in all the classes he was majoring in. A's all across the board, but right now they were starting to slip into C's, his danger zone. He'd have to fix that, he'd have to fix everything. But first, he felt like he needed someone to fix him before he fully broke beyond repair.

To think that six months ago, everything seemed perfect. He had an awesome boyfriend who loved him and Castiel in return loved him back. Then two months later everything changed. Lucifer had got angry and Castiel was the closest thing to him...so he took it out on him. After the first time, he promised never again only for it to happen again and again. First fist flew, then words, pretty soon that wasn't enough.

Sexual abuse happened as well as the emotional turmoil he placed in Castiel's mind. Of how he'd never get any where, how no one would ever want him. How this was truely the only thing he was good at as he rammed inside of him causing him the upmost pain. He'd have bruises there later from the rough sex. But Castiel began to see the truth of how right Lucifer was. After this, no one would want him. He was a slut, a dirty waste of space. It was amazing that Castiel hadn't killed himself yet. Sure, the thoughts were there, but he knew his upbringing of how doing such a thing was one of the worst sins that'd send you straight to hell.

So Castiel's next best thing was getting pills, different types. He had pain pills, he had one to make him practically a robot to shut off any emotion he had and then he had adderlin for his studies. Besides being with the devil, his next biggest problem was getting sleep and food. Trying not to overdose seemed good too.

* * *

It was a new day and Castiel's classes had ended, now he was going to the library. He worked part time at the library on Wednsdays, fridays, saturdays and sundays. You can bet Lucifier complained about him coming home late those days when there were so many books to reshelf and he got punished for it. Today was friday, he'd try to get everything done ahead of time so he wouldn't get in trouble. God, when did it feel as if he was answering to a parent? Ugh, no, it wasn't even like that. His father had been nothing but loving, then he had to go missing. Regardless, today he was working with Dean Winchester, a great looking guy with these eyes so intense green, you'd think he knew everything just by having a staring contest with Castiel.

Maybe he did.

It didn't matter though, the guy never said anything besides the small hey. Then they went about their own business. Though today was different. Perhaps it was because Castiel was a complete idiot and took off his trench coat and scarf that had been hiding the hand mark on his neck. He got hot and forgot what Lucifer had done to him yesterday. Though he didn't know Dean had seen until he had been grabbed and led into german folklore which was one of the least occupied of all time. Right now it was abandoned. Castiel felt himself pressed up against the books. Perhaps Lucifer wasn't the only one that would take whatever they wanted from him. After all, this is what he was only good for, right? Castiel couldn't even look up at Dean, his head turning to the side to look away, letting Dean do whatever he wanted to. He felt Dean lay a hand on his neck gently, though that didn't stop Castiel from flinching.

" Don't do that. " Castiel obeyed immediately. He knew better now, he wouldn't, he had learned, he would be better now.

Dean's finger's slid down the bruising hand mark on his neck, then Dean glanced around to make sure no one was around before lifting Cas' shirt to reveal more bruises, he sucked in a breath. He quickly pulled it down and glanced at the guy. Dean knew he had never said anything to Castiel before, besides the usual hey. But to see someone so special to be in so much pain like this. It wasn't right. Dean had seen all the changes that had went though Castiel. How he was the most social awkward young man who scored good grades.

Dean had also seen the guy that would pick him up, some blond bastard that looked to be at least five years older. Castiel had seemed happy enough for the first two months they were together, then Dean saw the change on day. Castiel had become withdrawn from the world, bags under his eyes from lost sleep. Dean even saw Cas popping pills when the younger man didn't think he saw. Dean came back from his thoughts when he felt Castiel press into him and whisper softly.

" Just take whatever you want from me, I'll be good, I promise... Just... Don't hurt me please. "

Damnit.

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing, what had that bastard done to him? Dean placed his hand on Castiel's face, the younger man didn't flinch this time. _Probably because I told him not too...geez, way to go Dean. _Dean thought to himself softly as he made Castiel face him, look into his eyes. There was so much pain there in those blue eyes. Dean felt compelled to take it all away. He was that type of guy, he couldn't help it. He had a hero within him, wanting to save the day and make everything okay. Maybe he got it from his Dad. The guy was a firefighter after all, that was how he had met his wife. She had been trapped in the fire trying to save some ladies children but got trapped herself. John had saved Mary and then they fell in love.

" Cas, everything's going to be okay. I'll make sure. "

Castiel didn't believe him. No one made little promises like that for nothing, they always wanted something in return. Castiel blinked softly before replying, almost void of any emotion except that underlying pain that was always there. " What do you want in return? " Dean's brows furrowed in confusion. Castiel took it as he was deciding what he wanted. The younger man of twenty five took the intiontive and pressed his body closer, they were at the perfect height to where they're groins were pressed against each other. He felt Dean gasp in surprise. But Dean released the hold he had on him, moving away an inch or so as if he had been burned.

" I don't need anything in return Cas... Don't do that. "

" You don't want me?.. " Lucifer had been right, no one had wanted him. No one ever will, he was damaged goods.

" It's not that, I, urm, well, I do want you, just... not like this. " Dean said softly, there. He admitted it. He had a crush on the guy for God knows how long but had been too afraid to admit it. Now he had to wait until Castiel had gotten with some loser who thought abuse was the only way to keep Castiel trapped there with him. Dean would show him that wasn't true, he'd show him that he was special. Castiel chanced glancing into the older man's eyes. Castiel didn't believe him, he didn't want him like this? Like what? Damaged? Self-conscious? " Prove it. " Cas licked his dry lips, which he noticed caught Dean's attention. Dean licked his own lips slowly and spoke in a low husky voice. " Prove what?... "

Castiel let out a breath he hadn't realize he had been holding. " That you want me... "

" Fine. " Dean said a little roughly. That was okay, Rough was all Castiel knew. But Dean's kiss was anything but rough, it was soft, gentle and it honestly scared the shit out of Castiel. Kisses weren't like this, not even when Lucifier had been beating him. Those first two months of happiness were not filled with kisses like this. Lucifer's kisses had always been rough and even then they drew blood sometimes. But this... it felt so gentle and soft that it hurt. Not pyshically of course...but it caused a tear to run down his face. Dean broke away slowly, watching the tear and wiped it away with his thumb. " I didn't hurt you, did I?... " Dean asked confused, he had been gentle, right? It felt gentle, maybe it wasn't?

" No, no, you didn't at all... That's why.. I'm.. feeling this way. No one's treated me this way before.. " Castiel whispered softly. It was true. Lucifer had sadly been the only man he allowed in and look what happened. Castiel would be amazed if he could ever fully trust himself with another person due to all the damage that Lucifer had dealt to him. " Well, now someone has and I'll always be there for you. "

" You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, Dean... " Castiel's voice spoke of defeat. He knew this wouldn't actually go anywhere. It just couldn't, it seem illogical. Perhaps he was dreaming of a heaven and a saviour that would come to rescue him. Then he'd wake up and know he was up against Satan and his hell. "This one... I'm going to keep, now come on, we better get these books put away so we can not leave late tonight. " Though Dean knew they wouldn't probably get out of here on time anyways. Something in his gut told him that was an extremely bad thing and he should follow Cas home. The last thing he wanted was hearing on the news tomorrow morning of Castiel being found dead thanks to his dick of a boyfriend.


	2. Hero

**I have to say this story is turning out to be shorter than I originally thought it would. But that's okay. Sometimes you need short and sweet...or in this case bittersweet due to the chapter. I warn you now! M for non con and abuse, don't read it if you can't handle it. Though it isn't has graphic as I thought it would be. **

* * *

Dean listened to the feeling in his gut and he would never be more thankful that he had. Watching Castiel walk home in the dark was heart wrenching. The asshole of a boyfriend could of at least picked him up. But Dean had to force himself to remember that Cas was not a chick and could most likly take care of himself. But being doped up might make him weaker. Regardless, Dean was there to make sure he got home safely. What he didn't know was that Castiel was living with Lucifer. That kinda felt like a blow to the stomach, but where was he when Castiel had been single and overall happy? Too scared of his feelings and the thought of being rejected. Now instead Castiel was off with some jerk who little did Dean know was ironically named after the Devil.

* * *

Castiel felt like someone was watching him. It wasn't only that, he felt like he was being followed. He glanced fearfully over his shoulder but didn't spot anyone on the street behind him so he ignored the feeling that made his hair stand on end. After about twenty minutes of walking he arrived at Lucifer's small house, inserted his key and went inside. He walked into the house he has been forced to call home for the past six months instead of his dorm room. He's been living with Lucifier for as long as he's been with him. Clearly the leash it held tight in the relationship.

Lucifer is there and he looks pissed. Castiel is scared, especially when Lucifer comes in close and _smells_ him. " I used to believe you when you said you were being late at the library because of all the work. But all this time you were fucking around, weren't you? God, your such a little whore. I can smell his cologne! " Castiel gasped in surprise when he felt Lucifer's hands grab him and slam him against the wall.

Lucifer smacked his head against the wall as he ground out each word in anger. " Who. Is. He." Castiel felt like this was the end, he finally made Lucifer's anger break free. He was going to die tonight. But no, of course Lucifer felt the need to torture and do something he hadn't done in a long time with him before killing him. He was going to use him, the one use he had Lucifer told him. " The only use you'll ever be to anyone from now on is a good fuck. You want to be someone else's whore? Not before I'm through with you. " Lucifer said darkly before throwing Castiel into the wall face first, his back towards Lucifer's front.

Castiel wouldn't exactly call it rape since the words that came out of his mouth weren't protests... though his mind was a different matter. He knew if he didn't say the words Lucifer wanted to hear to do the things he wanted to do, his life would end right then and there. But he couldn't fight the tears that ran down his face when he felt Lucifer press up against him, thankfully still clothed. Castiel didn't know what was sicker, the fact that Lucifer was gross enough to force himself on someone who clearly hated him more than anything...or the fact that he was hard from everything he did. He heard the clanking of Lucifer's belt coming undone and then off.

Then he felt his own pants being yanked off, his boxers being tugged down and then without any prepreation, the bastard slid inside. Castiel couldn't help the yelp of pain that escaped his lips as each painful thrust was pounded inside of him. Lucifer then decided appearently the wall wasn't hard enough and pushed Castiel onto the ground, pushing Castiel's face into the hard tile. He was used to this abuse whenever they had sex, after a minute the pain subsided and the weird pleasure he felt was there. He of course wasn't hard because the only time he got pleasure was when Lucifer accidently hit the right spot and regardless of how he felt, his body responded. What surprised him a little was Lucifer lifting his face from the floor and wrapping his belt around his neck to cut off any noise he had been making.

Though it wasn't tight enough to where he was choking thankfully. It lasted for another painful five minutes before Lucifer finally came inside of Castiel and withdrew himself. Castiel let out a hiss of pain from the sudden loss of being filled. God, this burned far more than it had before, he hopped he wasn't bleeding for anything, that was just gross. Castiel scrambled for his pants and boxers, sliding them on painfully and pushed himself into a corner. Which was a mistake. Lucifer had his pants back on but that wasn't the only addition. He spotted the gun that seemed to shine in the light. He didn't care, he was ready to die. " Now that I had you one last time, I can throw you away like the trash you are. " Castiel summed up the courage that had been lost for the past six month and rose up from where he stood. He wiped off the stained tears he had on his face and spoke with a volume of anger.

" You never HAD me, I never GAVE myself to you, all you did was TAKE. Go ahead and pull the trigger, see if I care. What I'd like to know is how you would get away with murder? "

" You think your the first dumbass I've done this to? "

" How many? "

" Why should I tell you. " Lucifer scoffed.

" HOW MANY? " Castiel bellowed with authority.

" So many, I lost count. How's that for you? "

" You really are the fucking Devil, you know that."

" So I've been told. Say good night Castiel. "

" Good night ass face. "

Castiel said with venom and closed his eyes preparing for the shot of the bullet to pierce his body. Even out stretched his hands to make it easier. But instead of hearing a gun go off he heard the door bust open from a force. Castiel's eyes shot open to look who had came through the door to see Dean. Lucifer turned the gun towards Dean and Castiel couldn't help himself but run in the way of the gun went it went off.

* * *

**Yeah, evil cliff hanger for you. MUHHAHAHA.**

**Review and you'll get the next chapter faster... maybe. MUHAHAHAHA.**


	3. Fix you

**Thank you very much for all the reviews! Very much appreciated. It seriously let me know that you guys like the story and want to know what happens next. **

* * *

Everything seemed to happen too fast.

Rewinding a couple of minutes backwards.

Dean had parked his impala across the street, he waited a good seven minutes before leaving his car. Something was telling him that something bad was happening. He couldn't be more right either. He stood next to the door and heard the yelling as clear as day. Jesus Christ. What had Castiel gotten himself into? That guy was a serious sick fuck. He abused and probably killed so many people... This had to stop. Dean heard Castiel say those last words that had him breaking down the door in no time. No one was going to freak'n shoot Cas. His breaking in caused Lucifer to look at Dean in surprise then turn the gun to him.

Everything seemed to happen too fast.

One second we're both shouting no, the gun goes off and Dean didn't feel anything. The bullet didn't hit him, it hit the fucking angel whose now bleeding on the ground. Dean felt anger well up inside of him, before Lucifer could get off another shot the bastard was tackled to the floor. They were wrestling to get the gun out of each other's hands, a couple of more moving around, struggling.

The gun went off again.

Dean's eyes went wide with shock, he pulled off of Lucifer and looked down, his own shirt covered with blood.

But the pain was not his, he looked down to see Lucifer's own matching red blotch on his shirt, only his wouldn't stop bleeding. Dean looked at the man's eyes to see the light seem to fade, life leaving him. Dean, shaking, turned to look over towards Cas. Dean crawled over towards him and inspected his wound.

" Oh thank God... I thought I lost you. " Dean muttered softly as he picked Cas up and placed his head in his lap. Castiel had only been shot in the arm, and it seemed to miss any artery because it wasn't bleeding as much. " Dean! " Cas overcame the shock of everything to see Dean's shirt full of blood. " We have to get you to a hospital! you'll bleed to death.. "

" It's not mine. "

" What?... "

" It's not my blood, it's your boyfriend's. "

" Oh... "

What was Castiel going to do now? All he had known had been Lucifer. He was lost. Then it seemed like he finally got it. He was free. He could get his grades back up, he didn't think he'd be able to let go of the pills just yet, they made him feel good. He could return to living in his dorm, maybe. He hadn't been there for God know's how long. They might of kicked him out. Where would he go now?

" Cas?... "

Castiel snapped out of his turmoil and glanced up at Dean and smiled weakly. He rose up on shaky legs and had to lean against Dean's body for support. Why did he feel so bad? Oh right, he hadn't ate all day. Lucifer said he could only eat when he was allowed to. He didn't have to listen to Lucifer anymore. His eyes went to the blond that was lying on the floor. He felt like he was trapped in some horror movie where the bad guy just doesn't die until you shoot him five times in the head.

" I don't...feel so good. " Castiel muttered softly before slumping against Dean. Dean caught him and carried the practically dead weight of a sleeping Castiel to his car, leaving the door open. He opened his cellphone and did the responsible thing. He called the police.

Dean knew he should of ran from the police, for some reason he had always been wary of them. But this was unavoidable. The police promised they would question Castiel once his stomach was pumped and his wounds were treated. When he had arrived at the hospital with Cas, the nurse gave him the dirtiest look like he was the cause of all this mess. Maybe he was. Dean couldn't help but shoulder the blame, if he had been there, if he had tried before... Cas wouldn't be in this mess, this fiasco that ended so badly. Dean felt his stomach lurched when he heard that Castiel had been raped. He didn't know that. _Shit, if i hadn't sat in the car in la la land, I could of stopped that too. _Dean thought to himself as he saw the sleeping form of Castiel in the hospital bed. Would castiel ever go back to the way he was? Probably with a load of help.

* * *

A few hours later, Dean was asleep in a chair next to Castiel his hand entwined with Castiel's who now awoke. He glanced at Dean and then was startled when he heard a voice.

" He's been here all night. "Castiel didn't recognize the voice nor the man that was standing too tall near the doorway. He didn't know what it was, but he felt a small dislike towards big foot. Could be the eyes, they reminded him of Lucifer...just a little, until he gave the biggest puppy dog look towards him. Castiel couldn't help tilting his head in confusion. " Who are you?... "

" I'm Sam, Dean's younger brother. You know... I've never really seen him like this. He cares about you... He never lets anyone in this much. "

Castiel turned his blue eyes towards Dean's head that was resting a little away from their hands that were together. " Why? "

" ? " Sam asked in confuson.

" Why hasn't he ever let anyone in? He's perfect. " Cas whispered softly in amazement.

" Nah, Dean's not perfect. Look, he's like anyone else, he has his faults but he's a good guy right down to his core. "

Castiel still didn't agree with

with Sam about that, but he didn't speak up and voice his opinion. It seemed he didn't need to since Sam spoke again. " He's found it hard to trust strangers, sure he's had his fair share of one night stands but in the end those girls mean nothing. He's never had to worry about fully giving himself to someone. I think he finally found someone who he wants to give that too, he's just scared to go all the way. "

" He has?... Who? " Castiel asked in confusion, he knew it wasn't him. He wasn't special, he wasn't unique and he was too broken for someone like Dean. Sam's quiet voice cut off his thoughts with an answer he knew couldn't be true.

" You, duh. "

Castiel shook his head and moved a little, his neck was getting sore. His movement caused Dean to stir and sit up. Dean let go of Castiel hand to feel the knot in his neck. " Damn, that hurts... " He let out a groan and glanced at his younger brother. " Hey, what are you doing here Sammy? "

" Well, I did hear about you nearly getting shot so of course I came down here. "

" Psh, I'm fine, Cas here took the bullet that was meant for me. " Dean turned to Cas and spoke, his voice rough from his grogginess. " And that was a stupid thing to do Cas, what were you thinking! You could of died! Scared me half to death. "

Castiel bowed his head and spoke in a hushed tone. " I'm sorry.. "

Dean's eyes widened for a second before tilting Cas' head up to meet his eyes. " Hey, hey, it's okay. Thanks but I was just scared of losing you. " Dean's thumb rubbed Castiel's cheek and Sam didn't miss seeing the younger male lean into Dean's touch.

" Hey, so I'm gonna just head home, or do you want me to bring you something to eat?.. "

" Nah we're good, thanks Sam. "

* * *

It had been three months since the night of the accident.

The police ended up questioning Castiel about what happened the next day after the talk between him and Sam. He said it was self defense, that Lucifer pulled the gun on him and shot him, then Castiel wrestled the gun and it went off. It was self defence and an accident. The police believed him and Castiel had left Dean out of the official report. He claimed that Dean had been driving by and heard the gunshot and came to see if everyone was okay.

Regardless, Castiel felt much safer in Dean's arms. He didn't feel as broken as he was once.

Dean was trying to fix a broken Angel, and he thinks he might just succeed.

* * *

**Okay, so there's the ending!**

**I was thinking the other day and only if you want it. **

**An extra chapter of Castiel's relationship with Lucifer. Like how they met, how the first two months were and then when everything changed. **

**If you want it, let me know in a review or else I won't write it! Thanks!**


	4. Bonus Chapter: Lithium Confession

**FIRST and foremost, I'd like to apologize in not updating for what feels like forever. I had been super busy with work since I did happen to get my second job at gamestop! which is awesome and all the guys I work with are pretty hot. So sorry! **

**ALSO: SUPERNATURAL IS COMING BACK ON SOON. Like this friday soon and guess what! I get to miss it cause of work. Hopefully it's put up for stream soon. either on cucira, tvduck or hell even cw. I can only hope!**

**Anyways.**

**You asked for it and you got it!**

**Though some of you said it would fill complete with just this chapter but i had thoughts of the next chapter possibly being of Dean and Castiel's first time... being intimate. And the beginnings of their relationships after moving on from Lucifer. So if you want that, just let me know and I'll work on that one next! Then the story really WILL be complete. lol.**

**Chapter called Lithium Confession which is taken by the two songs that slightly infulenced this chapter. "lithium" by Evanescence and "My confession" by Otep. Both songs are up on the playlist already. **

**This following chapter will change from Lucifer's pov and Castiel's.**

**Lucifer's point of view will be in first person in the beginning so you can grasp how his emotions and what he was going through. Kinda just like sympathy for the devil ep on season 5. You want to feel bad but then you remember who he is. so you don't.**

**Note: There will be abuse, substance abuse, sexual situations and whatnot.**

* * *

To think it had been a couple of years since I last seen that psychitrist that made everything change. Made everything different. Made myself different. I wasn't always this way, but now it feels too good to let it go. Especially when I find someone like Castiel. I want to love him but I don't think I really know what love is anymore, but that's okay, I'll just pretend. Pretend as the emotions drain away when the drugs run through my system and make me a monster. I know I'm nothing but a shadow of the man I used to be. Wouldn't you feel empty when you witnessed the murder of your wife and child?

I know that doesn't excuse the terrible things I do. Terrible things I have done.

I have done many terrible things, but it's never hurt this bad doing it to the blue eyed young man that stares at me with such obiedence, fear, hate and some kind of twisted affection I managed to make him feel in his brain. Perhaps it was because of the connection we shared. The fact that both of us rebelled against our father's wishes. Though castiel more or less rebelled against his family and not so much his father. No, I didn't agree with my father on how he cared more about my brother Michael and Uriel than myself. I felt like the odd one out and I really cared about my father, maybe even loved him a little too much. My psychrist said I had a father complex. Maybe I do, did, whatever. Doesn't matter anymore, nothing does.

* * *

Castiel remembers the day he met Lucifer perfectly, it seemed too perfect to be honest. And everyone knows that when something's too good to be true. It usually is. This was no different. Castiel had been in the bookstore looking for some religious mythology books. He loved mythology but he was captivated by Angels and everything they stood for. When he wasn't watching where he was going, he knocked right into something hard. He lost is balance and almost fell down when a strong arm caught him and stopped him from doing so. Castiel had looked up to see a six foot one man with clean shaven blond hair, blue eyes that were more silver compared to Castiel's own blue eyes that resembled the ocean more than ice. Lucifer had smiled at him and spoke in a velvet soft voice that sent shivers running down Castiel's spine before he could stop himself.

" Gotta watch yourself, wouldn't want to hurt yourself or anything. " Lucifer had put on the charm, his laidback smirk of sureness.

Castiel had smiled lightly and spoke " Yes, Thank you for not letting me fall. "

" My pleasure... you wouldn't mind going for coffee? It's the least I could do since I almost ran you down. "

" Oh, it was my fault, I wasn't watching w- "

" Nonsense, it was all mine. Now how about that coffee. "

Really, Castiel should of known right then and there by how insistant and demanding the male's voice had gotten. Like no one ever told him no and Castiel wouldn't be his first to say no. That's what it felt like at the time but Castiel was naive, smiled sheepishly and agreed to coffee. Which started into regularly seeing the guy straight for almost two weeks and then boom, they were dating. Everything had seemed sweet. Lucifer would pick Castiel up after class, take him out, watch a movie, little things. Of course everything seemed to sort of change one night after being with Lucifer for two months. They had been kissing, touching, things were heating up and Castiel wasn't really ready for the next step. He was a virgin and he wasn't ashamed to admit it to most people. But Lucifer had always made him feel self-concious, he didn't know why. Regardless, Lucifer had asked the first time, but once Castiel said he wasn't ready, Lucifer got a little...insistant again.

" Castiel... you love me don't you? If you love me, you'll let me have this, have you.. I want you so much, don't you know how much I love you? " Castiel had been ready to say, no, he wanted to wait a little longer but his words got lost when he felt Lucifer start taking off Castiel's shirt and then his pants, Castiel really started to panic right there.

" Please?... I'm... I don't think I'm ready...please?... I do love you, so much, but- "

Castiel's words died in his mouth when Lucifer hit him, it wasn't a punch in the face, it was an open handed slap. Castiel was shocked. He had never been hit by anyone who said they had loved him, _ever. _Castiel didn't know what to do just right then and there. Sure, the logical thing was to shove the guy off him and storm out. But...he had been so happy those last two months... Everything was perfect. So.. maybe Castiel was in the wrong. Maybe Lucifer felt like he as suppose to be paid something in return for all the kindness he showed. Castiel was being rebuked for acting wrong. He nodded lightly in agreeing to Lucifer and let him do as he wish.

Lucifer wasn't a gentle nor a giving lover. He was selfish, rough and overall...horrible.

No preperation at all, though Castiel was a virgin and didn't know what to expect...didn't know anything. He was just too damn innocent for his own good. He yelped in pain, feeling the large intrusion at his backside when he was on his stomach, forced to stare at the headboard of the bed.

" Shut up. " Lucifer said sternly. Castiel complied and bit down on the pillow to muffle his screams of pain as his body tried to allow and get Lucifer used to it. Lucifer laid a small kiss on the back of Castiel's neck which relaxed him slightly, but then Lucifer seemed to discover that it was slightly easier going in and out and decided it was time to really make use of Castiel's body. Starting with almost withdrawing and slamming all the way in making a loud sound of their bodies smacking together. That caused Castiel to flinch and let out a groan that was purely based on pain. There was no room for any kind of pleasure. Not that it mattered, even after their first time and their second, third, forth. By the fifth time, Castiel had grown accustom to how Lucifer had sex and tried to get off because honestly, he hadn't climax besides bringing himself to it before ever meeting the man thrusting in and out. So Castiel thought he'd take matters into his own hands once again. Though Lucifer saw what he was doing and made a disapproving voice. " Castiel, you know better, you don't cum unless **I** say so, and I don't, so don't even bother. "

Castiel stopped himself from even trying to get hard right then and there, nodding softly and turning his head to just let Lucifer do whatever he wanted. This didn't seem to please Lucifer either. Which was odd because clearly the man didn't object the first four times of Castiel just fully surrending and becoming a fuck toy. Lucifer slapped Castiel's backside _hard. _That was punishment, Lucifer spoke in a deadly whisper. " I want to hear you enjoy this, want to hear you scream my name. " So naturally to avoid any further abuse, Castiel did as he was told. " Went to your library today, saw the prettest fucking guy there, little older than you, gorgeous green eyes, dirty blond...couldn't help but think about fucking him, using him. He looks a little strong though, then again I always loved a challenge when it comes to breaking in someone. What to you say? Should I start moving on to _Dean. " _Castiel couldn't help himself. Despite hardly ever talking to the man he worked along side with, he one] wouldn't wish this on anyone when it didn't need to happen, when it was his choice practically. two] He'd give his life for Dean Winchester. He couldn't help but be attracted to the man, looks, personality. Though he saw most of the personality thrown at other people, it was still nice to see. Especially since he could see through the bravado and practically see the man's pure soul. No, he wouldn't let Dean be broken and become a victim. Never.

" No. I'll do what you want. " Castiel whispered, then he opened himself further, making it easier to slip in, to go deeper. After a couple of seconds he let out a moan. Castiel should of been an actor. He was convincing enough to get Lucifer's rocks off twice that night.

* * *

The next morning, Lucifer had apologized for hitting him. Though not about their intmacy. Appearantly what he experienced was just how Lucifer was in bed. He'd have to grow to liking it, to somehow finding a fondness for it. He didn't think that he could. That first little slap, he knew it wasn't going to just end there. But when he came home late from all the reshelving he had to do... Lucifer was not pleased.

" Your out being a little whore aren't you? Fucking around with that guy I saw... I know he's pretty, I should have him. Want me to? You don't deserve him. "

" Lucifer, I didn't do anything, we were there putting books a-" Castiel didn't get to finish his sentence as he watched in fear the bigger male moving towards him and shoving him against the wall with force. " What gives you the right to think your opinions matter? What you say means nothing, words from a useless bitch. You listen to what I say and will do what I say. Do I make myself clear? " Castiel nodded, but with a punch to his gut, it wasn't good enough for his boyfriend.

" I SAID, do I make myself clear? " Castiel wet his dry cracked lips and muttered a 'yes sir' before being thrown down on to the floor and being kicked repeatedly. That had been his first trip to the hospital where he suffered one broken rib and two fractured ones along with a few bruises all along his abdomen. Lucifer's story to which Castiel stuck to had been he lost his footing and fell down the stairs. The nurse didn't say anything, it wasn't her place to say anything. But she gave Castiel extra care when Lucifer had left and told him that he had to do something eventually or that man would kill him. Castiel never said anything back in response. He had learned his lesson, he'd be a good boy.

Though skipping a whole week of going to work at the library for recovery was hell. The nurse didn't want to discharge him to be with Lucifer so fast, but after three days she couldn't keep him any longer. Lucifer had decided to be a little more gentle when it came to letting out his anger. Gentle as in fucking him rough, at least getting one use out of him. When he returned back to working at the library, he took a wrong breath of air and winced at the pain in his stomach. Thankfully he didn't have too much internal damage once the rib reset, but it still hurt like hell. He felt eyes on him, questioning eyes filled with concern when he met the face of Dean Winchester. Castiel looked away quickly, he wouldn't involve that man, couldn't. Lucifer would hurt him like he was hurting Castiel, he couldn't allow that. Dean saw the hurt written all over the stranger that he wanted to help but didn't know how. He walked over towards him and laid a hand on his shoulder, gripping it a little tighter than he had to, but making sure to not cause harm. He whispered softly into Cas' ear.

" You come to me when you've had enough, when you want out. When your tired of being degraded, pushed around, used and abused. You come to me and I'll be there for you Cas. " Dean patted the shoulder he had held on to and moved away to get stuff done so Castiel wouldn't be home late like last week...

* * *

**Review please! and let me know if you want one last extra chapter of Dean and Castiel's first time/the beginnings of their relationship. Ask and you shall receive.**


End file.
